||[Sep. 26th, 2004|05:05 pm]
I have never felt more alone than I did last night.|
My mother got this great idea to get me a whole new bedroom set. So everything that I had in terms of furniture, with the exception of my computer desk and my wardrobe, was disposed of.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't upset about losing my material things. It was just furiture after all. But the amount of work that I put into creating my room to be just the way I wanted was destroyed in a matter of 3 hours.
Sure I could have protested. But what was the point?
Anyway, I cleaned my room and set it up the way I figured was best went to work and what not. Afterwards, as I was laying down to go to sleep in my new full size bed I found it incredibly hard to sleep. My computer had not been plugged in otherwise I would have watched a movie to calm my mind.
I felt so uncomfortable. It was as if the surrounding were not mine. As if I was sleeping in someone else's room. And it was very unsettling.
On top of that, I miss Steve.
Last night was the first night in a long time that I cried myself to sleep.
To make a long story not quite so short. Home doesn't quite feel like home anymore.